My Self Back
Written by Launna (Laura N. Kraus)
© 2010 Launna (Laura Kraus)/Launna Music (ASCAP)
All Rights Reserved

Everything they said
Everything they did to me is null to me now
All of their offering up of balm,
Alleged truthfulness deluded my mind
Weighted by service, I caved, submitted, ignored
Now utterly abhorred I am by such willingness to have subjected self to misery

I cannot afford to be anything but one-track
All former warmth is now worn
I’ve thrusted my self back
I cannot afford to be anything but one-track
Soft ministry stagnant
I have thrusted my way back

Innate gentleness ever spineless you pegged it
Now I’m officially hardened by your sh*t
Do you dig it?
Behind the scenes-type female, incompetent
Or so you tagged it
Heartless starlit shrew in your face,
Did you fig. it?
Did you fig. it?!

I cannot afford to be anything but one-track
Belligerence amplified
I have thrusted my self back
I cannot afford to be anything but one-track
Tolerance eradicated
I have thrusted my way back

Devious dealings you once hid from me so maliciously
You lost your only friend
So now I smile ’cause you’re hard-up for me
In spite of all your offering up of calm, so-called goodness
You once preyed on my mind
And yet I stayed put, took heart
I was pitied by your vice
Unguarded, played, laden with dependent ties
Now utterly abhorred I am by thoughts
Of having lost my one true friend (myself!)

Hey Ren,
Your tantrum volatility
No never again
No, no, no
Never again
I have found myself now finally
I have found myself now finally

I cannot afford to be anything but one-track
Defunct righteousness
I’ve thrusted my self back
I cannot afford to be anything but one-track
Identity consecrated
I have thrusted my way back

Everything you said
Everything you did
You mean nothing to me now
You once epitomized everything